Like many people, I lived in confusion with my chronic pain for years before I finally got the diagnosis. When I found out I wasn’t alone—that my condition had a label and a name, “Fibromyalgia”—I felt somewhat vindicated. However, the next most obvious question was: what do I do about it?
I was younger than most when my body seemed to turn against me, and the pain started out of the blue. In my final year at university, on a large campus, I suddenly found it difficult just to get around. I could walk only a few steps before the burning pain in my legs built up, and I’d have to sit down. This made previously simple tasks incredibly complicated. Taking transit in rush hour, for example, became a prolonged and disheartening ordeal. I couldn’t stand for long, but I wasn’t about to ask someone on a full subway car for their seat. Instead, feeling lost in the crowd, I’d sit and wait as train after train passed me by, searching for one with a free seat. Melodramatic as it sounds, that became symbolic of my life in general: when illness slows you down for a long time, it starts to feel like life is passing you by.
The chronic pain was a miserable experience, but it became compounded by the emotional toll. What a confusion of feelings it was, especially when the diagnosis was still a mystery. No one understood what I was going through, and the symptoms were invisible. I recall one time in a subway elevator, full of elderly folks, when a lady gave me grief for taking up space. “You’re not sick!” she accused me. ‘How do you know?’ I thought miserably.
Up until that point, I’d always been a ‘strong’ person—always playing sports, rarely getting ill. I could lift things other women wouldn’t. The shock of becoming someone who was dependent, incapable, even a burden, filled me with so much anxiety that I was an emotional mess. Eventually, I needed a doctor’s note to extend my university final deadlines, but when I went to my long-time physician, she was away. The substitute doctor filling in didn’t understand. I could barely articulate why I needed the note. He looked somehow amused by my distress, and I vividly remember him telling me to “get some rest.” His dismissive attitude sent me over the edge, and I left the office hyperventilating. That’s something I’ve only experienced once in my life.
Perhaps that man did me a favor because, after that point, I started looking for alternatives. I began meditating, which greatly helped me deal with the pain and calm my overwrought nervous system. Fibromyalgia is, in fact, the result of an overextended nervous system—we’ve pushed ourselves too far, taken on too much, kept too much inside, been shocked once too often, or lived a too-toxic lifestyle. At this point, anything you can do to calm the nerves is a step in the right direction. Meditation is free, non-toxic, and has great side effects like strengthening the mind and helping you focus on the inner world instead of obsessing over the outer one.
The Role of Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation, such as Vipassana, provided me an opportunity to just be in the moment. When we sit in silence and observe ourselves, we allow nature’s own healing and cleansing energies to rise. Furthermore, we can bring these observations to our conscious lives and become more aware of our thought and habit patterns, which are often destructive. For me—and probably others with Fibromyalgia—there were deep lessons to be learned about where my pain was actually coming from.
I began to feel empowered as I saw I had the ability to change my mind and reactions. I started making inroads into the pain. I think “into” is an important word here because sitting with and being with the pain, instead of resisting and trying to escape it, was instrumental in starting to diffuse it. I recall the phrase, “What you resist persists”—I’ve found this to be true.
How Fibromyalgia Changed My Life
As a result of my Fibromyalgia, my life drastically changed. In the long run, it changed for the better. I would never have sought out meditation, relaxation, or homeopathy if illness hadn’t forced me to do so. I was far too “cool” for any of that in previous years. I was fast, furious, and running the wrong way with all my being. It took serious pain to put the brakes on me.
I found my calling through Fibromyalgia. It turned me into a homeopath. My first prescription was two little pellets of Rhus Tox, a great remedy for joint pains with pronounced restlessness, slight relief from motion, and an inability to sit still. That was me to a “T.” Sitting still in meditation was almost impossible for me, and I have no idea how I managed a full ten-day retreat. Homeopathy is a medicine that needs to be individualized, and Rhus Tox was just what I needed. I’m sure the timing was perfect too—everything aligned with that first dose. I was so blown away by the effect of those tiny little pellets that I signed up for homeopathy college within weeks.
Healing from Fibromyalgia
Today, I live a completely different life. I no longer have the pain, and I know how to take care of myself. I’ve found some happiness. I still have difficult days, but I face them now instead of covering them up, suppressing them, or running away. It took a lot of work, though—a lot of work and paying attention to what my body was telling me instead of trying to fight it.
There’s a harmful idea out there that disease needs to be fought, that it’s some kind of war. As a homeopath, I see symptoms of disease as the outer expression of an inner disturbance. They’re a form of communication—the body is showing us what to treat and how to treat it. We need to listen to it to heal, though the messages can be painful. We need to be gentle with ourselves: we’re not made of concrete and steel like the modern world.
Moving Forward with Online Homeopathy
Everyone’s experience of disease is different, but I think there’s comfort in reading someone else’s story. That’s why I wanted to share mine. Having been through it, I know it’s possible to heal from Fibromyalgia. The more you get involved in the process and help yourself, the better you’ll do. If you or someone you care about is in a dark place right now, suffering from this condition, know there’s hope. Fibromyalgia isn’t the end of the road—it can be the beginning of a new one.
For anyone looking for support, my online homeopathy practice, Homeopathy Online, is here to help. Based in Toronto, I provide personalized homeopathic consultations across Canada and the US. Whether you’re seeking relief from Fibromyalgia or other chronic conditions, I offer natural, individualized care to guide you on your healing journey. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.
May you find your healing too.
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